A blow for free enterprise

I tend to sometimes walk too much in my inner dark side. Depending on your demographics you will think that either I am unusually moribund, dwell too much in the opposite direction of the Force or have issues which need resolving and, as it happens, you will most probably all be right.

The thing is that I took the decision this morning to expand the brief here a little bit and the news on the Albanian Crowd (rented, right?) and the President's wristwatch proved to be so auscpicious that I took it as a sign and forfeited the ritual sacrificing of the goat (I could not find a virgin and I was assured the goat was that way untouched), that my decision was right.

Now Bush is so keen to visit countries where Capitalism and free market enterprise is taking hold that he has, on this occasion, led by example. Ever since Robin Hood "robbed the rich to give to the poor" a little light-handedness has gone a long way towards equalising the dispersion of wealth amongst the masses. Not that I am condoning this in any way, shape or form. Far from it. But if we stop being judgemental and laughing at the US President's apparent misfortune at the moment (and the excuse about him taking it off is about as believable as the evil pretzel attack) we must, at length, concede that stealing is about as democratic an activity (albeit fraught with risks) as any free market enterpreneurship can possibly be.

Let's analyse it for a moment. Here are the ingredients needed to make it happen (and they are all true in this case):

1. Opportunity - such activity cannot flourish in an environment that is inherently deprived. Historically, such environments produce solidarity and group desperation and dispiritedness, but not entrepreneurial activities. For these to happen you need the opportunities created by inequality. The demands made by those who have in terms of goods, services and habits (not to mention behaviour) create the opportunities while at the same time inspire those who have not to aspire to a higher status.
2. Talent - ok, this does not need a lengthy explanation. Either you have it, or you don't.
3. Planning - and in the lifting of President Bush's watch we have ample evidence of it. The other alternative is to believe that such talents as stealing wristwatches are second nature to most Albanians (it is possible you know) and accept that here was an individual, unfazed by circumstances and willing to seize the opportunity presented.
4. Style - without it no business an ever hope to take off the ground. Imagine Robin Hood doing his bit with a grimace instead of a smile and yelling in rage instead of homespun, witty repartee. He would have been a mere brigand.

Put those ingredients together and presto you have the formula which spawned Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I realise, of course, that I have forgotten the seasoning: A hefty dose of desperation. Because stealing, like entrepreneurial pursuits, is a high-risk activity we need to have a sense of desperation and a clear-cut lack of alternatives for it to really flourish.

So all you louts who read this Blog (and I hope there are some) and are now laughing at the leader of the free world, consider that at least his presence affirmed values which, taken to their natural conclusion may one day help Albania become the next world-leading economy (or at least, failing that, stop being the butt of jokes - it now has more than one set of traffic lights which was operational on special occasions, you know).